Tuesday 8 June 2010

5 completely lame love songs that I love

Love is lame or passion at least. But that's where all the fun is. Being ridiculous. From lame public expressions of love to nicknames that not even your mother could give you. But aparentely, the best "love songs" aren't about love, they're about the end of, the break up. And that's something that can get even more ridiculous, and even more funny if you're not the one involved. This list could get endless but I choose the ones I really listen to despite of all lameness of it, so here it goes... 

5. Always On My Mind - Elvis Presley
I'm being heretic for considering Elvis lame, he's a classic! But I'm analyzing the song's content. The guy didn't give any attention to his girl and she obviously left him, and men are like this, they don't give a shit but once you leave them they start to say things like "You were always on my mind..." This sentence is also very used if the bastard cheated on you. (I'm not talking about my own experience, I was never cheated - as far as I know - and I never left my boyfriend because he didn't care about me, but I have seen cases like that)
The lamest lines: Tell me. Tell me that your sweet love hasn't died.Give me.Give me one more chance to keep you satisfied. ("I know I deserved it but pleaaaaaaaaaaase give it another shot!)

4. Wicked Game - Chris Isaak
4 minutes of song and 3 stophes being sang over and over again. The song is lame with that riff. The video is lame with a chick running through a beach and the lyrics are lame with all that "you're so hot and special and I don't wanna fall in love with you" 
The lamest line: Nobody loves no one. (Totally random!)

3. Iris - Goo Goo Dolls
Mediocre band and even more mediocre ability of writing foolish balads for making money. This one only went to the top thanks to Meg Ryan open arms in a bike being smashed by a truck. Nothing more. Still this is one of the top "relationship music theme" and it's cute.
The lamest line: You're the closest to heaven that I'll ever be.

2. Always - Bon Jovi
Hear the keybords, the violins, the guitar. Feel all the passion, the agony, the angst. Hahaha. Jon Bon Jovi is a Diva, in the very Mariah Carrey way. With the wind is the hair, close fists, tight t-shirts and leather pants he is the drama enbodyed the first line starts the whole thing, ("This Romeo is bleeding...") then he blackmails the poor girl ("And I know when I die, youll be on my mind") and declares that he'll "be there till the stars don't shine, till the heavens burst and the words don't rhyme". That's true love, not walking into your girlfriend's bedroom though the window every night. LOL The funny thing is that I could choose any Bon Jovi song, (or any 90's hard rock song) I chose this one because maybe it's the most famous, and I don't know one single person that doesn't start to sing the chorus of it (AND IIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII.... WILL LOOOOOOOVEEE YOUUUUUU BABEEEEE) if the song starts somewhere. You can hate this song, but you sing it. 
The lamest line: I can't choose one. The whole song is lame and cheesy. Still I love this song and all the other lame Bon Jovi songs. I guess I'm lame and cheesy. LOL

1. Total Eclipse of the Heart - Bonnie Tyler
Like Bruce Willis said in "Bandits" it's "The ultimate sappy chick song" and it's owner of one of the most ridiculous videos I've ever seen. But  HOW can't you feel the sorrow and the grief and how it grows while she's singing??! "Once upon a time I was falling in love, now I'm only falling apart." See? She can play with the words, it's deep! It's the ultimate sappy chick song, the ultimate song if you're in the dumps, it's the ultimate lame 80's love song!
The lamest line: I don't know what to do and I'm always in the dark We're living in a powder keg and giving off sparks. (WHAT THE HELL?!)

BONUS - Total Eclipse of The Heart - Literal Version 


Hope you enjoyed! ;)

p.s. I need to buy a valentine's day gift to my boyfriend. (Brazilian Valentine's Day is next Friday) Suggestions?

2 comentários:

Mira said...

I soooooooo agree about "Total Eclipse of the Heart"! How could I forget about it?!? It's so catchy for a mysterious reason, and plus, it reminds me of my childhood. Whenever I hear it, I remember those times. It's nostalgic. Now, the song IS crappy no doubt, and not to mention the haircut- but I admit I'm a fan (same goes for "I need a hero" or whatever is called).

On the other hand, "Always"... I am not crazy about it. It's too mellow, but in a wrong way. Not sure how to explain it. I don't know, maybe all those romantic girls who like it spoiled it for me (for some reason I can't stand songs that teenagers find oh, so romantic... Ok, they can be cute and all (songs I mean), but they're usually not really good. Teenagers' taste sucks).

Nana Noleto said...

I think that all Bonnie Tyler songs are sappy chicks songs and all of them are nostalgic. The whole 80's are nostalgic and everyone feels like they have to admit they love it. The haircuts are really something not to mention! LOL

I don't know how to be ironic in writing specially when I'm not writing in my mother language but Always is completely lame and cheesy. But I can't help it.

I'm planning a real love song, without all that lameness but they are hard to find. hahahha